22 Life Learnings Of The Year

The New Year is upon us my friend. Whether you are in denial that another year is over, or can’t wait to break through the doors to the year ahead, pause with me for a moment.

Come on, take my hand, sit alongside me by the fireplace in a comfy chair, and let’s linger for just a little longer in this year. What were the last twelve months like for you? Take time to reflect on all of it – the adventures, the emotions, the mountain top experiences, and those in the deep valleys.

It has been one of my traditions for many years to spend time in reflection the last quarter of the year, and especially in the month of December. When the year has been fraught with challenge, admittedly – I don’t want to look back. I want to cross my arms and stamp my foot like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Is this where you find yourself?

Sometimes you are just ‘so done’ with the year, it’s just been too much – too hectic; too stressful; too painful; you can’t wait to put it behind you.

I get it my friend, and I have been there too. But I have learned - the hard way sometimes – that tucking your challenges or painful emotions deeply away only ends up hurting you in the long run. And on the other hand, you don’t want to miss celebrating the wins of the year, or the life and leadership lessons learned through the highs and lows.

So, in this week’s blog, I ask you to pause for a few moments while Graham and I share the lessons we penned from the last year in reflection on our own lives and coaching experiences. See if any of these resonate with you:

1. Your Health is Your Top Priority

Sometimes you take your health for granted. I certainly learned this in the last year after what was supposed to be a simple leg surgery ended up keeping me from my usually physical activity and exercise.

As 75+ year old entrepreneur colleague put it this way. “Your head is always going to be walking around on the top of your body. So, take great care of your body.”

2. You Can Heal Your Mind

Scientists used to believe your brain stopped generating new cells once you reached adulthood. In other words, once you became an adult you were stuck with the brain that you have.

The good news is this has been proven incorrect and new science has found that you can indeed change your brain through a process called neuroplasticity. I have now seen it firsthand, and it is truly a miracle. You can change the way you think and heal your mind and body. And the best healer you have in this world is you.

3. Deal With Your Stuff

Despite doing everything right to take care of yourself, if you don’t deal with your pain, such as a trauma of your past, you will never be able to truly move forward.

This is important so it bears repeating. If you don’t deal with the pain of your challenges – if you ignore it, if you stuff it down, if you allow it to make you bitter…it can keep you from your best future – the abundant life you have been called to. So, get some support if you need to, and dig in my friend in this next year.

4. Live Your Best Life Now

Live a life that you love now, because you don’t know how much time you have on this earth. Tomorrow is not guaranteed, so every day is precious no matter what your age.

Think of it this way: If you’re 80 years old but you’re going to live to 120 you have a long life ahead of you yet. If you’re 35 but you’re only going to live until you’re 40, your time is short. Live your best life now.

If you are giving this one a resounding yes, then check out my book The Success Lie that goes deep on this subject.

5. Embrace Connections

Your life is deeply enriched by the connections you have. We sure found this out in the last year. After being isolated for a couple of years with the pandemic, it felt like a ‘happy drug’ to back in person at conferences and speaking events.

What a difference it made to get back out and be with people again – face to face - to dive deeper in the relationships of decades, and to make new ones.

Whether you are extroverted or introverted, you need connection. Embrace it. Even if it takes getting out of your convert zone to do it, it is worth it.

6. Nobody Has It All Together

Have compassion for yourself and others. No matter how people’s lives look on the outside - how shiny and polished they are on social media or appear when you see them in person – nobody has it all together.

Sometimes you can beat yourself up looking at how everyone else is doing (more correctly, how it seems they are doing). Realize that everyone has good things in their lives, and this is what usually shows up on their reels. On the inside everybody has struggles.

7. Focus On the Most Important Thing

First, you must identify what is the most important thing. Not what others in your life think is most important, but what you do.

It is easy to get distracted and off track. This is why a regular check-in with how you are doing is critical. Ask yourself, in all of your busyness, with everything on your plate, are you working on the right things? What is the most important thing? Then focus on it.

8. Put Family First

Always put family first. This has been a value of mine for many years, but wow, did it become more evident this year when my dad had a major health issue and ended up in the hospital.

As ‘his person’ as well as the kid that lives closest, I am his main support. And I wanted to be there. Intentionally, I put everything else aside, to be there by his side. The moments sitting together in the hospital - some excruciating, some bittersweet - it reminded me again, your family (whatever that looks like to you) is everything.

9. Slow Down

Working with high-achieving entrepreneurs who literally don’t know how to stop working, this has been my coaching mantra: Slow down.

I am also continually checking myself on this intentional habit, as it is easy for me to fall into patterns of overworking and not taking the breaks I need. Graham joined me this year on taking a 6-week Sabbatical, and I can’t recommend it enough. Think you can’t do it? Check out my blog series Why Sabbaticals Are Important: The Benefits of Taking a Break.

Slow down my friends and savor the present moment. It’s life changing.

10. Learn to Play

Whenever we spend time with the grandkids, and see the fun they have in all the made-up games they play, we are reminded how easy it comes for kids to simply play. It is such a shame we lose this ability as adults.

Playing has huge benefits to enhancing creativity, building relationship, and improving your overall well-being. Pick something you love to do and get out there and play.

11. Listen To Your Inner Voice

How often do you really stop and get quiet? I’m talking about ‘complete silence’. This means no electronics, and no ear buds in the ear with your favorite podcast or music.

Let’s face it, in this loud world, most of us don’t know how to get quiet. But it makes such a difference. If you want to listen to your inner voice and all its wisdom you first have to be quiet. It’s amazing what you can hear when you just stop and listen.

12. Choose Faith over Fear

When Hurricane Ian dropped on Florida where our daughter lives, there were days of concern (and all-out panic) as she was evacuated from her home town. Then she was evacuated again from the city she escaped to when the hurricane unexpectedly changed direction.

This scary situation caused fear and choosing faith was an hour-by-hour decision for a few days. “Fear” has certainly been my nemesis in the past. ‘Choose faith over fear’ is a mantra of mine and a lesson I need on repeat.

13. Action Matters

One of the topics that came up with the leaders we coach this year was how to avoid procrastination. It’s something that happens to all of us at one time or another.

When you know you have a hard decision to make; when you need to have a crucial conversation; when you know the heavy work involved in your next project. Herein lies the lesson – action matters. Idle is not a speed. Remember, an idea is only an idea until it is executed. Take courage, then act.

14. Be Bold with Your Gifts

There are amazing stories today about entrepreneurs using their gifts to make a positive impact. In a meeting we attended with a group of elite entrepreneurs, one of them, Dr. Timothy Nelson, is literally building a heart to eradicate youth heart disease.

Dr. Nelson’s mission was so inspiring it gave the reminder to everyone in the room: Don’t be afraid to use your gifts to be bold and blow up the world - in a positive way. Every person has been given amazing talents and gifts that are only theirs to share. Dream big. Go big. Be bold with your gifts and change the world.

15. Watch Your Mental Intake

You hear this one from me a lot, I know. It’s because it is critical to your health and wellbeing. Remember, what you feed your mind with becomes your life.

In this last year, you didn’t want to be watching the stock market or reading the news throughout the day. Of course, you should keep informed. Just remember to make a focus of fueling your mind with positive, uplifting things – the podcasts you listen to, the music, and the shows you watch.

16. Sunshine Warms the Soul

What warms your soul my friend? Graham and I found that sunshine (and water) warms ours, and we made the decision to spend more time in it and around it.

Whatever it is that bring you joy and fills your soul, be sure you are adding sprinkles of that every day, and buckets full on a regular basis.

17. Time is Precious

Time is your most precious commodity. Going along with the lesson on focusing on what’s most important, ask yourself how you are using your precious time.

You have 24 hours in each day. It is up to you how you use them. The days go by quickly and so do the years. Do you need to make changes in how you are spending your days? Let’s use them wisely. Time is precious.

18. Living to 100 Starts Now

Everyone wants to live a healthy, long life. And the choices you make today will impact whether you get there.

There are several simple ways you need to be able to move your body in the years to come – how well can you lift, can you push, pull, bend, and stretch? The better you can do these things now the more it will strengthen your body for the future.

19. Serve Others First

One of the best pieces of advice we heard this year came from a seasoned entrepreneur. Make it a priority to serve others - and serve first.

He likened it to the game of ping-pong where the Server serves first. Then the server needs to know how to receive - to catch the ball when it bounces back over the net. In ping-pong and in life, learn to serve.

20. Don’t Engage Negativity

There is negativity all around. Let’s face it, in many ways it’s a contentious, divisive world right now. It takes real intention to not engage with negativity conversations and people.

As a business leader, this is your chance to step up and be different than the norm. Lift others up with your words and actions. Promote instead of divide. Praise instead of commiserating. Show love instead of hate.

21. Your Morning Success Ritual is Vital

Every day you get to make a choice. You can choose to have a good day or a bad day. When you get up in the morning ask yourself, “What kind of day do I want to have today?”

You already have a morning routine. Decide to make it a morning success ritual where you incorporate the activities that set you up for your best day.

22. Become A Better Person

This year I made a decision. That it is more important to care about the person that I am becoming, than what I am actually doing.

You can forget, as I have, that you are a human “being” as you can get so caught up in all of the “doing.” If you pay attention to becoming a better person, growing your character, capacity, learning, and gaining new skills, that you will naturally create more impact in the world.

I hope you take a little time and linger on the year. Reflect on your mountain tops and your valleys, and especially the lessons.

What did you learn, and how can you use it to grow toward the person of highest potential you are created to be?