Why Those Sleep Hacks Aren’t Working For You, And What To Do About It

“I am just not sleeping well these days.” This comment is usually at the top of the list when I ask my clients how they are doing.

It is not uncommon to have sleep struggles now and then, however if you are battling chronic sleep issues there may be something more going on.

This happened to me. For many years, I battled with my sleep. My issue wasn’t getting to sleep most of the time. Instead, it was a constant waking up during the night. I found when I woke up in the wee hours to use the bathroom my mind would immediately turn on. Despite my efforts to shift back into sleep, it just wouldn’t happen. I practiced breathing; I counted sheep – but my mind would continue to ruminate. The sleep I did finally get would be restless without the restorative sleep I knew I needed, and I would wake up tired.

Well-meaning friends would suggest helpful sleep hacks:

• One friend offered a natural sleeping pill they liked – it didn’t work for me.
• My naturopath offered a powdered supplement to mix up and drink before bed – I got up multiple times to use the bathroom!
• I even bought a Himalayan Salt Lamp – though they release helpful negative ions into the room it did not help me sleep either.

If you can relate to trying sleep hack after sleep hack and still struggling with getting good sleep it may be time to ask yourself: What else is going on?

Listen to Your Body

When you can’t sleep at night it may be your body signaling you that something else needs your attention.

It is only in recent years that I have learned how to really listen to my body. Rather than continuing to throw sleep hack after sleep hack to my chronically sleep-deprived body, I began to listen to it.

It was time to dig deeper and understand why sleep was alluding me.

When I woke up in the night and my mind began to spin, I would ask myself, “Why are you thinking about this right now? Why are you worrying about this right now?” Rather than pushing these thoughts away as I would usually do, I became curious about them.

I began keeping a journal of what kept me up at night. When you do this, you will likely find patterns in the thoughts and worries that continually wake you. For myself, when I had the courage to dig deep and get answers, I learned that chronic trauma developed over many years was the culprit for my insomnia. Though I did “everything right” to take care of my body, there was a more significant issue that I didn’t understand at the time.

Here is what I learned. Your amygdala, best known as the part of the brain that drives the “fight or flight” response can sometimes get stuck in the “on” position. Having experienced significant trauma over many years, my brain’s internal alarm was staying on. My body was protecting me by being hypervigilant (the elevated state of constantly assessing potential threats around you). Though I needed rest, my brain believed that I need to be on watch all the time – to protect me and those I loved. When I worked with a therapist on the problem I learned it is normal for a traumatic experience to affect your ability to get consistent, good quality sleep.

In fact, research shows that adults that have experienced traumatic events as a child (ACEs) are more than twice as likely to have trouble sleeping.

But there is good news. No matter if you are experiencing lack of sleep due to unresolved trauma, overwork, or high stress, you can take specific steps to teach your body how to get the rest it needs.

How to Train Your Body for Better Sleep

Here are 5 ways to help your body train for better sleep.

1.Understand your symptoms are normal. If you struggle with sleep, know you are not alone.

In a 2020 study by the National Sleep Foundation, almost half of Americans say they feel sleepy during the day from three to seven days a week, and 35.2% of all adults in the U.S. report sleeping less than 7 hours a night. In a study posted in the National Library of Medicine by Mong and Cusmano, women have a lifetime risk of insomnia that is as much as 40% higher than men.

For me, it was such a relief to hear and finally understand what was really going on to disrupt my sleep. If you have suffered trauma in your life, be assured that sleep issues are both a common and treatable condition.

2. Learn how to follow your body’s natural rhythms. Your body follows an internal clock, a 24-cycle known as the circadian rhythm. When you wake in the morning your body releases a hormone called cortisol. This is a natural wakeup call for the body and creates the energy and alertness you need to start your day. Subsequently in the

evening as the sun sets your body will naturally dispense the hormone melatonin causing drowsiness and preparing your body to sleep.

One of the biggest problems in today’s world is that everything you typically do goes against your body’s natural rhythms. Back in the days before electricity and alarm clocks, people would wake with the sun and go to bed when it got dark.

Now, your morning alarm often rings when it’s still dark outside and you force in artificial light and a shower to wake you up. When it’s nighttime, you turn on the TV or work from your laptop – the blue light signaling your body it needs to stay awake. When the eyes are exposed to natural or artificial light, these signals tell the brain whether it is day or night.

As much as possible allow your body to fall in with your natural rhythm to improve your sleep. Dimming the lights and staying off screens a couple hours before bed is a good place to start.

3. Stick to a routine. Keep a regular bedtime and wake time no matter what. Routine is important for getting restful, quality sleep. Back to your natural rhythms, your body functions best when it has a regular sleep and wake time schedule.

Even when you are struggling with lack of sleep, fight the urge to try to sleep it off. It doesn’t work. Aim for going to bed within the same hourly time frame each day and do the same in the morning, including the weekends.

4. Stop the work talk. This is critical. I found my sleep was often disrupted due to this issue. Talking about work, either work problems or opportunities before bed takes away from your ability to sleep well. Both gets your mind in active thinking, list building, or problem-solving mode.

When you prepare for a good night’s sleep you want to wind the mind down, not amp it up. This is especially hard when you work with your spouse as I do. I recommend setting a time that you agree you will no longer talk about work. We set the time of 8 p.m. and make a pact to keep this rule.

5. Positive food before bed. I am talking about food for the mind here. Avoid filling up on negativity. You want to avoid anything that puts your mind in a negative state before going to bed. Save your deep conversations or disagreements to settle for another time. When you are thinking negative thoughts, you are likely to lay and ruminate over them.

Instead, feed your mind with positivity in the evening. Ask yourself what went well during the day. Think about what you appreciate. Before you shut your eyes, tell yourself you are going to have a wonderful night of sleep.

6. Relax and Breathe it out. If you struggle with falling or staying asleep deep breathing can make a difference. It made a big difference for me. When you find yourself lying in bed unable to sleep, become aware of what you are thinking about – let it bubble up and become clear to you. Then allow yourself to recognize how those thoughts feel in your body.

If the thoughts are negative ones or worries, you will likely feel tension in your body. Train yourself to consciously relax these areas and then switch your thoughts to your breath. Focus on taking a long slow breath in, pause at the top, then a long slow breath out. Do this over and over, and you will feel your body relaxing, promoting sleep.

Healthy sleep is foundational to your wellbeing and will help you to perform at your best. A good night’s sleep empowers your body to recover and helps you to wake up refreshed and ready to take on your day.

If, like me, you have struggled with sleep for years, maybe it’s time to look deeper to the underlying cause. Then incorporate these six ways to train your body for better sleep. It takes a commitment to change your sleep habits, but you can do it, and will be so glad you did.