From Burnout to Refill: Recognizing and Healing from Compassion Fatigue

Has there been a time in your life, maybe even right now, when you have struggled with overwhelm and exhaustion with the demands of caring for those around you? You might be experiencing compassion fatigue, a rising trend in today's world. In this blog we will explore the growing problem of compassion fatigue, its symptoms, and how to overcome it.

What is Compassion Fatigue?

Compassion fatigue is a state of emotional and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged exposure to suffering. It's often experienced by caregivers, healthcare professionals, and trauma-informed therapists, but it can affect anyone who pours their heart into supporting others.

It’s becoming a more prevalent issue, extending beyond the natural areas you would expect to entrepreneurs and business leaders who invest their hearts and souls in nurturing their teams and guiding their organizations toward success.

As a business leader, you are often conditioned to prioritize the needs of your teams and your company above your own. From team members facing challenges in the workplace to their home environment; to your responsibilities caring for your own household; and the burdens of family members and friends - the pressure can take its toll, often without you realizing just how much.

How I Encountered Compassion Fatigue

As I dug further into this intriguing subject, I realized that the past year has been a stark illustration of compassion fatigue for me.

When our family found out my dad had stage four cancer, I immediately stepped in to help. And this was a natural response – when someone you love needs you there is no hesitation. This turned into a yearlong rollercoaster of ups and downs - providing emotional support, arranging multiple doctor and hospital visits, receiving good news followed by unwelcome news, paying bills, washing laundry, and learning to pivot quickly when needs changed.

It doesn’t matter what other responsibilities you may have at work or home – your loved one gets to the top of your list, and you figure it out. At the time just being able to “do something” seemed to spur me on. It overshadowed the immense emotional toll the caregiving was taking on me.

Then my dad passed, and the role transitioned to caring for my mom. After 69 years of marriage, it was undoubtedly a gigantic adjustment for her to navigate life without her partner and best friend.

If you have suffered a loss of someone in your life, you may well know that it is worse to watch your family member’s pain. Witnessing my mother’s grief was and still is heartbreaking. How I wished I could take my mom’s pain away. But unfortunately, all I could do was hold space for her grief, while at the same time tending to my own and my family as a whole. Grief, it seemed, became a contagious disease, spreading through my family.

As the months went on, exhaustion became my constant companion. It felt like I was moving through life in a fog, attributing it solely to grief. Then a conversation with my friend and craniosacral therapist, Jenna, shed a whole new light on what I was experiencing.

Recognizing the Signs:

Craniosacral therapy is a gentle, hands-on body treatment to release tension around your body’s connective tissue network called the fascia. When I saw Jenna for visits during the months following my dad’s passing, they were incredibly helpful. On one of these visits, I asked her what she observed during out time together. She said while working around my lung area there was a fullness or heaviness that she would often see in long term caregivers she treated.

Jenna's words struck a chord. “Wow, I thought.” It was true. “I had been in a caregiver role now for over a year. I also wasn't just carrying my own grief; I was carrying my mom's and even my daughters.” At the same time, my heart was heavy for other people in my life also suffering. A colleague’s child had a serious health condition; a team member experienced the breakup of a long relationship; my nephew lost their baby daughter, just to name a few. The constant negativity of the daily news cycle wasn't helping either.

It suddenly made sense. Though I wasn’t familiar with the term before, here I was, experiencing compassion fatigue firsthand.

Then I learned about the concept of the "compassion bucket."

The Compassion Bucket: A Powerful Metaphor

Imagine your empathy and caring as a bucket. The more you give of yourself, the emptier the bucket gets. If you don't refill it, eventually, there's nothing left to offer.

The image resonated deeply. Between the care I was giving at work and to my family, my bucket was definitely empty. So, what was the cure for this compassion fatigue? How could I refill the bucket and become whole again?

Combating Compassion Fatigue: Self-Care, Boundaries, Support, and Mindfulness

Here are four practical and powerful ways that you can recover and protect yourself and your resilience for the future:

Self-Care. A word thrown around a lot these days took on a new meaning. Self care isn’t a luxury; it is a necessity. Long walks in nature, getting lost in an enjoyable book, a relaxing massage – these were no longer indulgences but tools to replenish my depleted reserves.

Just like the oxygen mask instructions on airplanes, caring for yourself isn’t selfish – it is essential for your survival and ability to care for others.

Boundaries. The idea of setting boundaries initially felt harsh. How could I create distance from those I loved and needed my support? But I came to understand that these boundaries aren’t walls; they are fences.

Boundaries allow you to carve out time for yourself without neglecting your loved ones. It can be delegating tasks, scheduling breaks during caregiving, or simply saying "no" more often. Learning to prioritize your own well-being won’t make you a bad daughter, son, boss, or friend; it will allow you to show up for those in your life in a more meaningful way.

Support. Sharing the burden of emotional stress is crucial. Talking to a therapist, a friend, or a support group allows you to process the difficult emotions you are experiencing. Sharing doesn’t magically erase the pain, but it lessens the weight you are carrying alone.

It’s also ok to ask for help. As a constant overachiever, you may think you have to do it all, and you simply don’t. I was fortunate to have the wonderful support of my business team who stepped up and took over tasks to take off some of the burden. Someone from our church arranged meals to be brought in, and even made a several-week schedule of volunteers to take my parents to their various appointments when we were in the thick of treatment.

Mindfulness. The concept of mindfulness, something I had always advocated for my entrepreneur clients, suddenly became my personal lifeline. Committing to my quiet time every morning was critical and something I learned to put first.

I encourage you to start your own mindfulness practice where you take time to simply be quiet for a few minutes by yourself. Meditation and breathing exercises will help you become more aware of your own needs and limitations. Yoga is also a wonderful way to connect with yourself, calm down, and reset your nervous system. Being present in the moment allows you to recognize early signs of burnout, preventing you from reaching the point of complete emotional exhaustion.

The Road to Recovery

The road to recovery wasn't linear. There were setbacks, days where the fog threatened to return. But with every walk, every mindful breath, every conversation with a friend, my bucket started refilling.

The journey of compassion fatigue highlighted a vital lesson: self-care isn't a badge of honor or a sign of weakness. It's the foundation for a sustainable and fulfilling life. It's the fuel that allows us to offer unwavering support to the people we love.

Taking Care of Yourself to Care for Others

Today, I carry the lessons of compassion fatigue close to my heart. It's a reminder to be vigilant about my own emotional well-being, to prioritize self-care, and to be open to seeking support when needed.

Because the world needs our compassion, our empathy. But more importantly, it needs us to take care of ourselves so we can continue to show up and offer the kind of support and understanding that truly makes a difference.

When you prioritize self-care, you replenish your reserves, ensuring you have the strength, resilience, and heart to extend your hands to others without losing yourself in the process. It's not just about surviving; it's about thriving, so your compassion becomes sustainable, impactful, and a source of joy rather than depletion.